snakeworthy price (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} 69sofine) wrote,@ 2008-09-17 14:34:00 |
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i had the time of my life, and i owe it all to you.
i turned 21 last wednesday. here's what i got:
mom and dad gave me a dvd/vcr. yay. i needed a new one. the remote for it sucks (because of my entertainment arrangement, the vcr has to sit sideways and the remote doesn't work unless it's pointed straight at the thing) but it works better than my old one... which i still need to get rid of somehow. becca gave me a bag of jawbreakers. uncle roger mailed me $50. that's it. sarah brown didn't get me anything, but she paid my phone bill, my traffic ticket and bought me food and beer.
reid, for my birthday, broke up with me.
1. i'm unemployed.
i've been looking for a job, though i will admit not to the best of my abilities, but i've been really depressed lately for reasons i will soon reveal and i don't exactly have control over whether or not any of the dozen places i've applied at will hire me. i have called back to every single place i have applied and even gone in for an interview. i'm sorry reid, but at least i never asked you for money this whole time. luckily i had sarah brown for that, and she was willing to help me out and not even stop eating over it. maybe i should date sarah brown.
2. he worries about me to the point that it makes him physically ill.
apparently reid has developed an eating disorder. even small amounts of food make him feel sick and he told me that when he's empty "he feels alive". i feel bad sharing that, but it really worries me and i want to help him with it. i dunno how any of this is my fault, ESPECIALLY since he didn't tell me this. i never told reid he should worry about me and in fact whenever i did unload all my woes to reid, he would specifically tell me NOT to worry, so he took that on himself. and it makes me extremely sad. and i certainly never asked him to stop eating.
here's the real reason why reid broke up with me:
katie parker.
around the time i lost my job, reid threatened to break up with me. i asked him if he still loved me and he said yes so i asked him to stay with me. he said he would and asked me to find a job and stop getting coarse with him about little things that didn't matter like cleaning the dishes and taking out the trash. i asked him to do only one thing the entire time we were in our relationship. spend time with me. that shouldn't be a hard thing to do if you love someone, right? well, this whole month of me looking for a job and doing all the housework and not yelling at reid for being a slob, reid spends less time with me than ever before, thus making me depressed as fuck and not wanting to clean or find a job or do anything but call him all day and ask what he's doing. and what is he doing? spending all his time with eric wright and dan sanders and nathan vasquez and ivan dorchec (four peopler i blame most for reid's metamorphosis) and motherfucking 18-year-old katie parker. the first time i met katie parker she was sitting alone in my living room with reid when i came home doing nothing but talking to each other. WTF? i tried to be nice and talk to her, but the few times i've ever seen her over the past month she hasn't even looked me in the eyes, much less talk to me. anyways, reid tried to sleep with this chick (he couldn't get it up and ultimately felt guilty about it.... well he said he felt guilty, he probably just felt embarassed and confused) and i'm pretty sure she's the reason he's breaking up with me (come on, reasons 1 and 2 seem like utter bullshit) but he denies it across the board. but one thing i know for sure, reid is conveniently cured of being in love with me after an entire month of hanging out with this chick who i am going to hunt down and confront. she knows what she's done and i'm not letting her get way with it without facing me. sure, i've cheated on reid in the past but for one i did it strictly for sex while he was out of town. secondly, i felt horribly guilty about it and lastly i never told him about it for fear of hurting him and when i did, he forgave me. i forgave him for trying to sleep with katie parker, too and he told me he wouldn't try it again. not until after he'd dumped me anyways, i suppose.
so i've basically spent the week after my birthday crying my eyes out and trying to understand what all this is about. i'm just so insanely confused as to why reid has changed so much in the past few months and how it could possibly be my fault and why i'm the one being punished for it. i don't know what to do. and now how am i supposed to have any fun at hootenanny? i still love reid, he's my favorite person and my best friend, so why did he betray me? and how am i ever going to possibly get over it? fuck.
i turned 21 last wednesday. here's what i got:
mom and dad gave me a dvd/vcr. yay. i needed a new one. the remote for it sucks (because of my entertainment arrangement, the vcr has to sit sideways and the remote doesn't work unless it's pointed straight at the thing) but it works better than my old one... which i still need to get rid of somehow. becca gave me a bag of jawbreakers. uncle roger mailed me $50. that's it. sarah brown didn't get me anything, but she paid my phone bill, my traffic ticket and bought me food and beer.
reid, for my birthday, broke up with me.
1. i'm unemployed.
i've been looking for a job, though i will admit not to the best of my abilities, but i've been really depressed lately for reasons i will soon reveal and i don't exactly have control over whether or not any of the dozen places i've applied at will hire me. i have called back to every single place i have applied and even gone in for an interview. i'm sorry reid, but at least i never asked you for money this whole time. luckily i had sarah brown for that, and she was willing to help me out and not even stop eating over it. maybe i should date sarah brown.
2. he worries about me to the point that it makes him physically ill.
apparently reid has developed an eating disorder. even small amounts of food make him feel sick and he told me that when he's empty "he feels alive". i feel bad sharing that, but it really worries me and i want to help him with it. i dunno how any of this is my fault, ESPECIALLY since he didn't tell me this. i never told reid he should worry about me and in fact whenever i did unload all my woes to reid, he would specifically tell me NOT to worry, so he took that on himself. and it makes me extremely sad. and i certainly never asked him to stop eating.
here's the real reason why reid broke up with me:
katie parker.
around the time i lost my job, reid threatened to break up with me. i asked him if he still loved me and he said yes so i asked him to stay with me. he said he would and asked me to find a job and stop getting coarse with him about little things that didn't matter like cleaning the dishes and taking out the trash. i asked him to do only one thing the entire time we were in our relationship. spend time with me. that shouldn't be a hard thing to do if you love someone, right? well, this whole month of me looking for a job and doing all the housework and not yelling at reid for being a slob, reid spends less time with me than ever before, thus making me depressed as fuck and not wanting to clean or find a job or do anything but call him all day and ask what he's doing. and what is he doing? spending all his time with eric wright and dan sanders and nathan vasquez and ivan dorchec (four peopler i blame most for reid's metamorphosis) and motherfucking 18-year-old katie parker. the first time i met katie parker she was sitting alone in my living room with reid when i came home doing nothing but talking to each other. WTF? i tried to be nice and talk to her, but the few times i've ever seen her over the past month she hasn't even looked me in the eyes, much less talk to me. anyways, reid tried to sleep with this chick (he couldn't get it up and ultimately felt guilty about it.... well he said he felt guilty, he probably just felt embarassed and confused) and i'm pretty sure she's the reason he's breaking up with me (come on, reasons 1 and 2 seem like utter bullshit) but he denies it across the board. but one thing i know for sure, reid is conveniently cured of being in love with me after an entire month of hanging out with this chick who i am going to hunt down and confront. she knows what she's done and i'm not letting her get way with it without facing me. sure, i've cheated on reid in the past but for one i did it strictly for sex while he was out of town. secondly, i felt horribly guilty about it and lastly i never told him about it for fear of hurting him and when i did, he forgave me. i forgave him for trying to sleep with katie parker, too and he told me he wouldn't try it again. not until after he'd dumped me anyways, i suppose.
so i've basically spent the week after my birthday crying my eyes out and trying to understand what all this is about. i'm just so insanely confused as to why reid has changed so much in the past few months and how it could possibly be my fault and why i'm the one being punished for it. i don't know what to do. and now how am i supposed to have any fun at hootenanny? i still love reid, he's my favorite person and my best friend, so why did he betray me? and how am i ever going to possibly get over it? fuck.
